Sex+: “Sex with a Chronic Migraineur” by Rita Maria Martinez
Sex With a Chronic Migraineur
If you insist on candles, use unscented and flameless,
always a mellow, stable yellow. For music, you'll score
with some soothing Sade or Enya. Avoid classical.
The migraine mind often interprets violins as screechy
implements of torture. Please pass on perfume
or cologne. Nothing beats classic clean. Anticipate
the needs of your loved one. Placing a glass of Pedialyte
and Dramamine on your beloved's nightstand shows
you're a thoughtful lover. Despite a firm mattress,
motion sickness will occur if you rock her world.
Be patient. She may postpone taking the tablets
if they repress climax. Don't take it personally
if she's too queasy to cuddle after. Rejoice! She's willing
to have sex. She hasn't extinguished the flames of desire
by saying, Not tonight, Honey. I have a headache.
Be flattered her desire overrides her pain. Open yourself
to novelty. Make a funny joke if she wears only her
birthday suit and an Icekap on her head, its slots swollen
with ice packs. Call her your artic amazon, your sexy
babushka. Wear a Cat-in-the-Hat hat or Kermit the Frog
socks, so she doesn't feel self-conscious. Know the air-
conditioned room will feel like a frozen tundra–know
her willingness to please–know the warmth of her body
sustains you–keeps you coming back for more.
About Rita Maria Martinez
Rita Maria Martinez is the daughter of Cuban immigrants. Her poetry collection—The Jane and Bertha in Me (Kelsay Books)—was a finalist for the Andrés Montoya Poetry Prize. The recipient of a neurostimulator implant, Rita’s current poetry raises awareness about triumphs and challenges when navigating life with chronic daily headache (CDH) and migraine. Martinez’s poetry appears in The Best American Poetry Blog, Ploughshares, Tupelo Quarterly, West Trestle Review, SWWIM, and Wordgathering. Her work has also been featured in CLMP’s 2023 Disability Pride Reading List. Follow Rita on Instagram @rita.maria.martinez.poet or visit https://comeonhome.org/ritamartinez.
